On Wednesday I will be leaving to drive from Houston to Atlanta (Hotlanta, or the ATL as kids may call it these days) with a few friends of mine. We're going for some big lame writing conference, ostensibly, but really to hang out and get away from Houston. Well, that's why I'm going anyway.
Of course, some people may ask "Glenn, this is the 21st century. You should be taking a plane." To that I would say "That's not actually a question." And then I would say I'm terrified of flying, which everybody knows already. But I love driving, and I love extended, long driving trips. There's a great feeling to be in a car in the middle of nowhere, and imagining what living a life in the towns you drive through would be like. Back before gas was a eight dollars a tablespoon I used to just drive to random towns near wherever I lived, just as a way to relax.
In order to make this more than just about road trips, maybe this week's topic is anecdotes of road trips you've been on, vacations you've been on, or perhaps you can write about the attitude we Americans have about having to be able to drive anywhere. (Sorry, but no matter what topic I pick here, somebody will hate it).
Anyway, I'm in a rush, so I'll just list a few of my personal road trip highlights of the past.
1 - In 2003, my friend Dimitri and I decided to road trip from Orlando to Illinois. No big deal, except we decided to start driving at 10 pm for some reason. It was fine until about 5 or so, when we got past Atlanta. I started getting really tired and drifting off, so we decided to pull off at this crazy, nowhere gas station. At this gas station, hovering around the lights, were about twenty gigantic moths (if you put your open hands next to each other that's probably the size of their wingspan), with really intricately shaped wings of bright colors. I couldn't believe they were real. Added to our exhaustion, it was really surreal. I looked them up, and I think they were luna moths.
2 - In 2004 I was going to Illinois again, this time with my friend Dauro. We stopped at a rest area in Alabama and its bathroom had the most hilarious graffiti I have ever seen. It went pretty much exactly like this, with each line being a different person's handwriting:
-I hate raceists
-you dumb asshole, you spelled racist wrong
-Actually, racism in America has been proven to exist on all sides, and to largely be influenced by the economic class of the person demonstrating racist tendencies.
-EAT SHIT
3 - Well, this story is also from Dimitri and my trip in 2003. We were driving back from Chicago at night to stop at my parents' place, and I look up in my rear view mirror to see a huge bright cross barreling down on us. It turns out this trucker had rigged a lightset on his grill in the shape of a cross. It was pretty terrifying.
I'll leave it at three stories for now. Everybody knows my Houston hooker story, so I won't tell that again. Also, I have a lot of work to be doing right now. So, road trip stories, vacay stories, hooray!
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11 comments:
Houston Hooker story? Um, no, I don't already know this one. Please share.
What about that time you were coming back from a wedding and had a pink shirt on? Weren't you in Lake City on your way back to Tally or something?
I have to say that I haven't heard the hooker story either. Or maybe I did and forgot it - either way please post it.
You own a pink shirt?
I like a man that can wear pink. And yeah, I'd like to hear that hooker story, too. Have fun in Hotlanta.
I (along with my friend Mark) was almost thrown in jail in Virginia for speeding on a road trip. Not being able to find the vehicle insurance didn't help the cause, I'm sure.
Virginia and Ontario have no reciprocal agreement making traffic citations binding in the other jurisdiction, so they put you in jail until you can see a magistrate and pay upfront through official channels. The obnoxious officer spat this information at us.
We did the right thing: we shut up, let Mr. Tough Guy belittle us a bit and played stupid and naive. He got sick of our shoulder shrugging and told us, essentially, to get the hell out of Virginia as fast as was (legally) possible.
Which was exactly what we were thinking.
There's no hookers in this story, though, so Glenn's is sure to be better.
Pink shirt? That sounds like my wedding. :)
Also, I do not know the hooker story.
Melissa
This is the perfect topic for this week!
I'm flying up to NYC to visit Laurie. Maybe within 24hrs of being in New York I'll have a good story - if not, I have a few good ones to fall back on.
Aw man, now there's all this pressure to make my city exciting and shit. I mean, it's awesome, but story-worthy shit doesn't happen to me every day!
Oh don't worry - I attract bizarre people. Just ask Caitlin - hmmm...or don't. I may need to save those stories for my blog. Suffice it to say that she can verify that random people just come up and talk to me.
Melissa - Somehow I suspect this *is* the pink shirt that Glenn wore to your wedding that I convinced him to buy because it would match your wedding...
I can't wait to re-live your crazy people, Stephanie. (To be fair, not all of them are crazy...many of them are just friendly and fixated on you!)
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