My apologies for posting late and for posting a lame story. While I love writing, short stories are simply not my medium at all. You might note that this is less of a short story and more of a prologue to some sort of disco/sci-fi epic. Well, enjoy. Or not.
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Close your eyes and imagine the future. No, wait. Back up. Imagine the future the way they did back in the 1960s. You know, that dated look of short polyester skirts and gogo boots, gaudy upholstery and extraneous fins and tubes of no practical use whatsoever tacked on to various household appliances to make them appear futuristic.
On the off chance that you’re picturing a future similar to that found in the original Star Trek, well, you might just be on to something. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Star Trek got it right. Well, except for those ridiculous outfits the men wore. I mean, if we ladies are to be traipsing about the galaxy in miniskirts and knee-high boots, our male shipmates damn well better show some skin. So remove any images of a future in which some sort of Captain Kirk sits commandingly in his captain’s chair in an unflattering yellow polyester top. Just pick that thought up and toss it. Replace that chair with a gold velvet couch, and upon it place not one, but two muscular young men, naked from the waist up. And you may as well picture them with their muscular flesh nicely oiled. Space can be a sticky place at times; it’s good to be greasy. (Don’t scoff; I’m the one writing to you from the future. What would you know about it? Trust me; their oiled chests are just as much a necessity as my short skirt.) Now, go ahead and place me – short skirt and all – on the couch directly between these young men.
Our sofa sits amidst a room of various control panels, much like those on the original Star Trek, analog and everything. You twenty-first cats think with such smug superiority about your digital this and your digital that, but just try to break the light barrier with that nonsense and see what happens. Analog is the wave of the future my friend.
So, you got the image? Good. Now lower the lights, turn on the disco ball and get ready to rock the galaxy. And whatever you do, don’t sneeze, or you’ll blow this image smithereens. I’d hate to have to explain all this again. Now, hold on tight, and let me show you what the universe has to offer.
3 comments:
It's not lame - I really liked that. Nice way to work in your line too...
I just simply could not come up with an actual short story *at all* - which was frustrating me to no end, and part of the reason it took me so long to post. Gah!
I *love* that you incorporated the word "smithereens" into the line I suggested since, coincidently (as you may or may not know) that is very close to my last name.
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