Ah, rejection. There are few things I try harder to avoid thinking about than rejection. Ugh.
I guess I've mostly experienced rejection through job applications. It takes a freaking long time to find a job, especially if you're just out of college or don't live in the city where you want to work. No one's going to count on you to fly up for an interview for an entry level position. When I lived in Florida, I probably applied to 4,736,395 jobs throughout the country without hearing a peep. But when I came up to DC for a few weeks, I applied to a bunch more jobs and finally got one out of the newspaper. And when that one turned out to be intolerable, it took another 349,234 applications before I found the one I currently have (and like!! yes, those of you finding me by searching for my company's name, I do like my job!). And really, I only got this one because I had a friend who worked here and recommended me.
I keep telling myself that these are not personal rejections. I'm not still naive enough to think things like good jobs and fancy schools come to people based solely on merit. Obviously, it has a lot more to do with who you know and how much money you or your parents have. But it's still frustrating. Very personally frustrating. To know that you're ready to move on to a new phase of your life, to know that you're capable of performing well in a situation, to be nearly certain that this is what you want to make your career in, to come to all those big decisions and be stuck because you can't find someone to give you that first chance... that's what hurts.
I must have applied 50 times to Planned Parenthood and NARAL Pro-Choice and the Guttmacher Institute, even after I moved to DC, and never even got an email response. I've supported Planned Parenthood and NARAL for years through money and time, so it really surprised and frustrated me that I couldn't even get a call back. And I have to admit, even knowing that this is the wrong way to express dissatisfaction but not knowing what is correct, that I'm a lot less inclined to offer my money or time to them any more because of that. I'll participate in online petitions I find in the multiple emails I get every day from each of them, but I've let my membership lapse in both groups, despite their urgent reminders.
But how do you respond to rejection? The only advice is to move on, right? Forget about it, don't take it personally, assume that you're better off this way or something like that. It still sucks, and, I'll admit here, it still makes me a little bitter.
I hope the rest of you are more mature about this than me. This isn't a fun way to be.
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I must have applied 50 times to Planned Parenthood and NARAL Pro-Choice and the Guttmacher Institute, even after I moved to DC, and never even got an email response.
ME TOO! (Well, minus the moving to DC part.)
Unfortunately, I was going to write about job application rejections, and my post was going to sound a lot like this one... I'm going to have to start wracking my brain, otherwise I'm going to have to share exboyfriend stories or something.
I was an active member of Amnesty International for years, and then I had a horrible interview there. The reason why it was so horrible wasn't entirely due to me being a loser, but because of the way the interview was set up (four interviewers plus someone on speakerphone) and because the position as they presented it in the interview was quite different tha what had been written in from job description. They asked all kinds of questions that I wasn't prepared for, and I felt completely humiliated. I would actually say it was my worst job interview ever. Anyway, after that I felt sort of bitter and I haven't been very actively involved with AI since.
Actually, now I'm glad I read your post and responded to it, because my next assignment for Swedish class is to write about a time when I was humiliated, and I was having a hard time coming up with a specific example. Thanks!
Anyway, you shouldn't take it personally; remember that for every great job there are about 12,000 applicants. I'm trying to remind myself of that now, since I just got an auto-message that I did not even make it into the first of three rounds of applicant-weeding for a job I felt I was eminently (over)qualified for. Ugh.
Sometimes there are also 12000 applicants for bad jobs, too. While my BA in English was winding down, I applied to 100 middle/high school teaching positions in Florida, and got only two interviews. Luckily (?), one hired me.
Yeah I had a hard time with getting a job right out of college as well.
Half the time they would look at my resume and ask "You have an art degree - why are you doing this?". Or "so where do you see yourself in 5 yrs". I was stupid enough to answer honestly, and when I didn't have a job still after a few months, I had to move back home. Luckily, nepotism helped me find the job I have currently.
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