I can't say I've ever had any trouble with job transitions. I am, though I hate it, somewhat sentimental, so it is always hard to leave people you work with for a long period of time (at least the people that you actually like), but I have never really had a problem with managing a job transition. I worked at a public library for almost five years, to then move 400 miles away and begin working at a lock-down children's "last chance" mental health unit, with occasional stints at the adult acute care unit (which included people detoxing, people who were Baker Act-ed, etc.). Now I work in a management position in a fairly large city on the opposite coast. So I suppose I'd also say I don't have much of a problem transitioning when it comes to moving to different places- the move from my hometown was probably the best decision I ever made, and then moving from the west coast to the east coast a little over a year later wasn't a huge problem either. There's some adjustments, sure. The transitions that I suppose I have had trouble with are the personal ones.
I loathe to get personal on a blog. But I will say that this topic, like the last one, is somewhat appropriate to what is going on right now in my life. I can think of personal transitions throughout my life and how hard they were: starting school when I was very little was difficult, because my mother was basically a housewife and I didn't get the social interaction of pre-school. Not that I really remember that. I remember when I graduated high school: I was not a fan of high school- I always looked forward to finally getting out of high school and being "an adult." And then I remember, the summer after I graduated, being completely depressed. In retrospect, it was because I was used to having external things define me- being a teenager defined me, having to go to high school defined me, my group(s) of friends defined me, etc. Then suddenly I had to define myself. It didn't help that I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, as far as what I wanted to go to school for or do as a career (I always envy some of my friends who just seem to have known very early on exactly what they wanted to do- I didn't figure it out until I was 24, and even then, it's questionable if I chose what I chose because I just had to choose something.) That seems to have all led to my recent problems, which seems to be signaling another transition in my life- this one not necessarily brought on by any external forces. It seems that I have spent a great deal of the last several years since high school and moving away and finally starting a career not really thinking about what I was doing, not pausing to think about what was going on inside of me, and getting too much of my identity and influence from external influences, as opposed to looking inside of myself or paying attention to what's going on inside my own mind/heart/etc. Perhaps it could be a sort of transition period into "adulthood" (yes, I'm 26, but these days, people spend more and more of their twenties still stuck in a sort of post-adolescent mode- I read it in a Time article!); figuring out what is truly important in my life, what I am "living for," what truly makes me happy and fulfilled, realizing certain things, etc. This has been an especially tough transition period for me, but ultimately something positive will (hopefully) be a result of it; as with most transitions, whether they be work related, academic, or personal, one comes out of the other end stronger than before. In the meantime, facing things that I haven't faced, thinking about things I haven't wanted to think about, and putting the pieces together is going to be a task, but it is one I am increasingly up for.
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Nick, I think you must be doing a great job of life. Seriously, Stephanie and I were talking the other day about how disconcerting it is that so many people our age (mostly people we just know, not people we are friends with) just drift along from year to year, clinging to high school or university lifestyles. (This does not include people who are IN university...that is different.) We were discussing the ever longer crawl to adulthood phenomenon that you cite in the Time article. (Dude, you have to stop reading that magazine.)
Granted, I have been unemployed since June, but that truly is an immigration issue and not explicitly because I am a lazy bastard. I am talking about folks who still find themselves working very low-paying jobs in the college town they know best, 4 years after they graduated. They have big plans for leaving, big plans for moving on up, but no motivation or any kind of drive (or realistic outlook).
You, my internet friend (we don't really know each other in person, eh?), have been one to go out, try new things, see new places, and really work on a sustainable lifestyle. I am just guessing here, but I would assume you don't just survive on Ramen, either. You have made the transition...our peers should be writing you for advice.
The whole transition to adulthood thing is something that I wonder about. I mean, I'm 28 and *legally* the US has considered me an adult for 10 years now. I've been working continuously (albeit in different jobs) for four years now. I also own a house. I should feel like an adult. Why is it that I don't??
Hi Nick, regarding the part about you having a hard time selecting a career path -- I have some good news.
I have always had a very hard time making career decisions too. I continue to have a hard time. I've gone to career counselors, taken a "finding the right job for you" class, read the books, taken the personality inventories, tried different jobs, interviewed people in different fields, had internships, etc. I'm glad I did all of those things, but I don't think that any of it really helped. Now for the good news. I was reading an article about a year ago that was written for people who were in training to become a career counselors. The article focused on how to help different types of students. In general, the article said that you should recommend all of the things I listed above. The exception was with highly intelligent students. Highly intelligent students often have a hard time narrowing down their seemingly infinite list of career possibilities. For them, it can actually halt the process if you start introducing lots of new options. So, I'm not really sure how to make a damn decision. But maybe you can take joy in the fact that you are highly intelligent and that is what made the decision so hard for you.
(A Disclaimer to all Readers: I'm sure that you can also be highly intelligent and make career decisions easily. So, if you've always known what you want to do, I am not calling you stupid...Good for you for knowing!)
Melissa
The "career" I have chosen is poet. So that doesn't really say very much about my responsibility. Or maybe it does.
Caitlin: Thanks for the kind words. I actually think I'm not doing half bad as far as my "life," with my job, etc. I *have* had moments (as I'm sure many do) where I feel envious of those who knew exactly what they wanted to do, or feel crappy that I screwed around for several years while other people went to school, etc. But my recent "crisis" and "transition" is more internal: Basically, I seemed to have collected an identity from "external" influences, to be very simplistic- as in, who I really am, my identity, what is important to me, what I think about important things like what it means to be an adult, what it means to be "responsible," what it means to be "happy," spiritual matters, etc. So my transition is, I have to figure out who I am by looking within, as opposed to without (which I acknowledge sounds very cheesy), and figure out for myself who I really am, what's important, what I want to be, etc.
Jane: I have NEVER felt like an adult. I can't imagine owning a house, etc. would make me feel like one.
Melissa: I have NEVER known what I want to "do" with my life. Part of my whole thing recently is the manner in which I chose what I am currently considering as my career and what I am finally going to school for (I won't go into that here, it's too long of a story). I just finally chose something based on certain things in my life and the fact that I could sustain an interest in it. But for me, I'm not sure it's always been that I wanted to try everything, or that there was just so much to choose from- I just never knew what I wanted to do. Some people, I suppose, aren't as "career oriented" as others- and I think that a job/career is just as valid if you hold it only to sustain a rich personal life (which seems to be where I lean). And while I've always considered myself smart, I'm not sure I would call myself highly intelligent- but thanks for the compliment!
Glenn: As far as your poetry degree- I'm sure your job at Publix will still be available. But seriously, you're doing what you want to do- I can't think of anything more important than that.
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