I don't mind so much anymore when people ask what I do. I can be reasonably proud that I work in government and that I am a Budget Analyst. No, it's not the most exciting job. But it's a management position, and it makes me seem professional. I do get annoyed when people say to me, after I say what I do, "oh, you must like numbers." No, motherfucker, I don't actually like numbers. It's just my job. In fact, I hate numbers. I'm not good at math. Recently, someone asked me to come up with a percentage increment for the past ten fiscal years. Now, I know how to do percentages for certain things. But I didn't know how to take ten years of numbers and make a percentage increase for each year. I had to look it up online. And then I found the answers on a high-school math help site. I'm that bad. I also own Math for Dummies (it is hidden strategically in my office). I don't like numbers. I don't have to. Being a Budget Analyst doesn't necessarily have to do with numbers (it's more looking at accounts, budgeting for the next year, writing impact statements, working on legislative priorities that have a budgetary impact, etc.). So that question gets annoying. But I am much more proud than when I used to work in the library many years ago- I hated telling people that. They used to just go "oh." And I hated working there. I was such a piss-on. I wasn't even allowed to talk to my co-workers; it was like elementary school. That was bullshit.
It was much more fun, though, telling people when I worked at the mental health center as a behavior technician. There were lots of stories I had to tell from that job. Seeing the people being Baker Acted. Having to learn to take people down to the ground and pull their pants down so the nurse could give them a shot to knock them out. All the times I got bit and had to get tetanus shots (I don't know if I could could on my hands the amount of times I had to get tetanus shots). Having a kid try to stab me with a marker--one of those smelly ones that are obviously not sharp. I smelled like blueberry for several days and that was hard to wash off. Having to take down a 300 pound man with about seven staff members who was so high from crack that it took four shots before he even calmed down (those shots usually knocked someone out immediately). Those were great stories, and I still have some great party stories. But that was also not what I wanted to do with my life.
It doesn't bother me too much to have someone ask me what I do. What always bothers me is having someone ask me what church I go to. I get that none down here, but in Northern Florida that was always the first question (second one was usually Gators or Seminoles?). I hated that. I met someone recently that thought I listened to country music because I'm white (it's South Florida after all). But I am pretty proud of what I do; I like my job, and I'm very proud of the fact that I work in the field that I am going to school for. But being automatically asked "oh, you must love numbers" is annoying.
Glenn, I for one an very proud of you for your going into poetry. I remember when you were torn between doing that and going in to something that you might not want to go into but you'd go into because other people would want you to. I had a whole time period when I was going to go into a field that I would not have enjoyed just to go to college and make money- I know I'll never make shitloads of money going into government, but I'm happy with what I do.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
I used to always feel ashamed when (post-high school) I had jobs in Lake City. Whether it was waitressing at Hong Yip when I was home for the summer, or the six weeks in hell at Dell's call center, or the five months mutilating dead deer... I was always worried that I would see people I knew and that they would think less of me. (To quote Glenn, from when he wrote about working at Service Zone:
It sort of felt like the place people went when they failed at everything else in life. I don't know if I can explain that to anybody who isn't from Lake City. In the few days I worked there I ran into a lot of people from high school I barely knew, but they were all super excited to see me. Most of these people flunked out of community college, or never really saw any point to get any learning past high school. Maybe I'm a total asshole for saying all this, but I felt like at any second the dinner scene from "Freaks" was going to break out once they saw me, a college grad (well, in creative writing, anyway), in their training class, like it justified all of their opinions of the world outside Lake City, that it was unimportant and overrated.
I definitely had that feeling. Like people were thinking "Oh, there's straight-A student and college grad Jane Keeler doing exactly the same thing as me! Bwahaha! I knew high school and college were worthless!"
I also felt like I had let myself down - I *had* worked really hard all through high school and college, and yet there I was working shitty jobs. But let me tell you, one stint in the "real world" was enough to make me miss those dead deer like mad. Not the other jobs though. But I'll go into details when it's my turn to post.
Also, you should have been proud to work at the library - it earned you a following of girlies who thought of you as Hot Library Boy :-)
I called you hot library boy before you even worked at the library.
Man, I just fixed a shitload of typos in that post. I have to write slower.
I worked at Service Zone. For three months. I was the 2nd person hired- the guy hired me over the phone from New Mexico. It sucked so bad. I quit pretty fast. And I felt like a total idiot for quitting. But then I ran into someone about a month later who had started right around the same time who said that after I quit, everyone else who had started in my group had quit too. So then I felt like some sort of rebel leader. But that job sucked.
I should rephrase- I am not ashamed of my working at the library. I learned a LOT working there- in fact, working there led me to figure out what I ultimately wanted to do (politics- I used to always gravitate towards the political books). And it was a respectable job- I was not ashamed to tell people that I worked at a library. It's a clean, air conditioned job and it makes you seem like you must be smart (though, if you've ever been to the CCPL, you know that's not the case). But that job sucked. It was demeaning. I was treated like I was in elementary school. If I was working and I happened to be talking to a co-worker, my boss would come out and yell at me; in front of patrons, etc. Fuck that. I can't open my mouth and talk to a coworker? It's not like we were hiding out trying to not do work and, I don't know, feeling each other up. We were doing tedious shit and were talking about some TV show or some book we read or something harmless. And then I'd get repremanded. We had 15 minute breaks- they were written on a schedule. We took our break when we were scheduled to take the break, and there was a kitchen timer clock that was set at 15 minutes so we knew when our break was over. I had to beg to go to the bathroom. I remember being extremely sick one day and being bullied into coming to work anyway (so I sneezed without covering my mouth and wandered around everyone, in the hopes that I would make everyone I worked with sick and they could share my fucking misery). That job was demeaning, tedious, and any pride I might have had outside of working there was completely fucked when I walked in to work.
I remember (and I'm just ranting here) one day it was an uncharacteristically cold day, and my car would not start. I got it started and I got to work fucking LITERALLY one minute after 8am. They then decided to institute a rule that if you were late, you were docked 30 minutes of your vacation time. They decided to use me as an example. I was so fucking pissed that I said that I was then going to go sit and read a magazine for 30 minutes. They did not like that. I did not care. I am the type who is always early to work, no matter what.
So, to end my tantrum, that job was a respectable job, it did move me along into what I ultimately wanted to do, it did make me feel fulfilled (I loved helping the kids, or adults for that matter, find a book, and I got to be relatively knowledgable about books, authors, etc.) and I did feel like I was doing something good. But the conditions there was like being in school. It was bullshit. But Lake City being what it is, that was about the best job one could hope for.
And yes, I met plenty of girls. And got hit on by plenty of guys as well. I used to get phone numbers like every day. I remember visiting not long ago and someone who had slipped me her phone number when I worked there tried to hit on me again- she remembered me from like three years before! So that was also nice. That job did obliterate my shyness. But working there was not fun. I did work with some wonderful people and I did meet some great patrons.
And who were these girlies that you speak about- I only know of you (of course, that's all that I need- but it seems there may be some that I don't know about?). =)
And Glenn, you're all talk- when are you going to back up these advances?
Hey, when are YOU going to come to Houston, buddy?
I actually lied. I don't have a couch. That was part of my ploy to get you to sleep in the bed. I mean, for warmth.
Well it better be a twin bed, then.
Post a Comment