The Ghosts of Thanksgiving Past

My past two Thanksgivings haven't been the best, so I'm a little apprehensive as to what's going to happen this year. Am I going to have to move again, or is it going to be an all-out family war like always? Anyways, in an attempt to get this blog rolling again, this week's topic is Thanksgiving. I am being a tad bit lazy and resubmitting old posts from my other blog, but in my defense, they're quite amusing.

Nov 2006
Thanksgiving and the Apocalpyse - Together at Last!

Thanksgiving didn't exactly start out the best way. The day before, our landlord called to tell us she had sold our house. We now have until Dec 31st to move out. Huzzah! What a start to that day! Actually, I had no idea - but my mother decided to call me at work to tell me for some reason - I actually dreaded being at work more that usual.

The next day I went over to have the big Thanksgiving meal. I've been house sitting - hence why I had to go over. It was cool (house sitting that is) because I got to hang out with Laurie (her family drives her crazy too, so she had been staying with me since Monday) - not to mention the week away from my family. We spent the morning watching What Not to Wear.

Lunch started out normal enough, but then we started talking about moving, and why my mother might possibly lose her job. (**Not in the original post** - this apparently seems to be an annual problem, as just a month or so ago I was looking for places to move because she wanted to quit before she got fired. She hasn't quit -- yet) As soon as Kellie was done eating, she got up and went to take a nap. I got done soon afterward and started to get up from the table. My mother laid a guilt trip about me leaving - and I guess she had a point - she wasn't even done eating yet. I said that I would stay and talk, but I had things I had to do that afternoon.

So I sit on the couch and she starts harassing me about what I'm going to do about my future - saying I shouldn't go back to school, and I need to make a plan. I tried to switch gears and talk about moving again. A friend of our family has a house he's going to sell, and earlier we were talking about renting it from him. I told her that if he would let us, we should just buy it from him. She says she didn't want to - and then starts in about the end times. She's ranting about how everything will be electronic - no more cash - and how she's not going to take a chip from the government. WTF?! Where did this come from? At this point in time I told her to shut up, and that I was leaving, and walked out the door.

EVERYTHING becomes a religious argument. EVERYTHING comes around to the end times. If the end times are so soon then why should I give a fuck about my future? Doesn't seem like I have much of one. Christians have been awaiting the end times ever since Christ's resurrection. There are groups of people who gave up all they had because they were certain the apocalypse was right around the corner. Also - all the Christians are supposed to have raptured or whatever before the Antichrist and the mark of the beast - so why is she even worried about it?

I called the next day to talk to Kellie about what we were going to buy people for Christmas. I needed to ask my mom how much I owed her, because I had given her $50 earlier in the week. I made the mistake of asking how she made the leap from buying a house to the apocalypse, and she started talking about how she wasn't going to be a slave to any government, company, or person, and how she was trying to pay off all her debts. Apparently someone at the temple (Messianic Jewish) brought in a clip about people implanting chips or something. I pointed out that some people still buried money in the backyard - we're too attached to cash right now for anything that drastic to happen. I just hope she doesn't take to burying the money - I'm sure it's the next step before she decides to start re-enacting the movie Frailty ( I swear that's going to happen one day).

Nov 2005
Thanksgiving and the 7th Level of Hell

It actually wasn't that bad. But would you have read it if I had titled it "The Happy Thanksgiving of Smiles and Angel Kisses"? Well ok, you might...weirdos.

Ok so I burned the fuck out of my hand, and got a lecture while I was dying of pain about how my mother hoped I wouldn't cuss like that when I had kids. WTF? I'm not even in any kind of a relationship. I'm not even CLOSE to dating someone, so where the hell does she come up with kids? Im sorry, let me hold your hand on the burner and see if you don't cuss. Hypocrite.


Then Judy called. She was bringing someone with her. (Oh God...the Christian Cowboy! {for those of you unfamiliar with him, see the post titled "As if you NEEDED a reason to think my family is crazy"}). Actually not him, but his daughter. Apparently there were family problems and she needed to get away. From my encounter with him it's understandable.


So they came, and we ate, and things were rather normal. And then came the time that my sister and I had to talk to the girl while my mom and Judy were busy in the kitchen. She started talking about the horses out at Judy's. Next thing I know she says "Oh yeah, and Judy told me about how you guys let Nosey out". I just looked at her, and after I counted to 10 a couple of times, said "There's a little more to that story". And left it at that. (In your face MOM, who thinks I have anger management issues).


So we're talking some more, and the next thing that grabs my attention is "So I heard you met my dad". Kellie and I just looked at each other. "Yeah I know, he's pretty rude". Not such a bad kid after all. There was definitely a gap, she was 11, and we didn't have much to talk about (I didn't dare bring up the topic of Harry Potter), but it wasn't the disaster I thought it was going to be.

Completely unrelated note - everyone should go to http://www.gunthernet.com/ and watch a crazy German with a sexy mullet and too much lip gloss (yes, I'm talking about a guy) sing some, um, interesting songs.