I Can't Get No...Satisfaction

Well this topic is perfect for me, as anyone who knows me knows that I've been addicted to heroin and sex since the age of 5. Just kidding - well about the heroin at least. I can't actually say that I'm addicted to drugs (never really taken any), or alcohol (ok - I've had my share of drunk nights, but I rarely get drunk anymore), or anything else - except food, shopping, and a captive audience (with or without the duct tape and gag).

But seriously, real addictions for me? Actually probably pretty close to Jane's. I'm addicted to the internet, though it hasn't been able to be quite as severe in the past 6 month because I've had dialup at home. But no longer! My sister saw a sign saying that we could finally get DSL out in the sticks, and she told me when I got home last night that my mother had already called and we're getting the hook-up Thurs! I can finally post the pics I have on my camera! Ooh! AND with DSL we can set up a wireless network, and we can set up the other computer! So while I don't generally check my email before I pee in the morning (as it would take far too long, and I'd probably have an accident before then), that may soon change.

Also TV is a big one. I generally don't have the time to just sit and watch, but I do record my favorite shows. I love Sex and the City, Dexter, Weeds, Big Love (all the really good shows on the movie channels you have to pay for - well not Sex and the City), but I do have an embarassing love for some reality tv. The worst, I'll admit, is American Idol. I suppose I can truly say it's an addiction, because even though I'm completely embarassed and ashamed to admit I watch it, I do it anyway. The others are the competition shows on Bravo. It all started with Project Runway, then moved onto Top Design, and finally Shear Genius. I just love all the creativity, and competition, and bitchiness - and I would LOVE to be on one of those shows, but I don't have the right experience or degree.

Travel is probably my other addiction. Living in Lake City, I mean, who could blame me for wanting to get out and visit some cool places any chance I get? Oh - that reminds me - my grandmother has a timeshare in Sedona that we could trade for a week in London - anyone up for a trip? However it is a bit of an expensive addiction, and often I end up using the money I should be paying off medical bills with to go on these trips. However, I use the excuse that it has made me a more worldly and well-rounded person, so it's totally worth it.

In the interest of keeping this a relatively short post, I suppose I should end it there. I could ramble on about my love for Neil Gaiman, Jack White, shoes, and other things, but I'm sure I'll cover those at some other time on this blog.

Lady Marmalade

Hey Stephanie, that girl was bad, but this girl is REALLY hilarious. I fucking hate American Idol, I think it is ridiculous shit (even more so than that piece of shit 24), but when I saw a clip of this girl on a news show, my jaw hit the floor.

American Idol

Here's a clip of the crazy girl who can't sing, just in case you want to indulge in my guilty TV pleasure too.

Trumps

I have to say out of all of them, I probably have the worst TV guilty pleasure - American Idol. It's actually really embarassing to admit to anyone not a fan of the show. It's like an addiction - I wish I could stop, but I just can't help myself.

The best part of the show is the first couple of weeks. This is when they show the auditions in all of the different cities, and you get to see how awful and delusional 90% of the people who try out really are. The other night there was a girl who auditioned and she knew she was tone-deaf. Her reasoning was that they could teach her and shape her into whatever singer they wanted her to be. When they pointed out she was tone-deaf, and this was a singing competition she flipped out! WTF? Crazy.

Speaking of crazy, watching a cracked-out Paula Abdul is always fun. Not only do you have comments that make absolutely no sense, but she also dances in her chair and all sorts of other weird stuff. Last year, when Constantine got kicked off towards the end she was bawling, I mean really sobbing, and then turned around and was sitting on top of the table and cradling his mother's head "comforting" her.

I also like being really bitchy, and watching Simon Cowell do the same. Most of the time he's not really being mean, he's just being honest. I have to say that I love to watch the show with someone else, and rip apart the contestant's performances. At one point in time Lindsey, my roomate at the time, and I would try to figure out who would be in the bottom 3. Then, to make sure the right person hopefully got voted off, we would vote for the other 2 people. (See, you can't vote against anyone, just for who you want to stay on - this was our way around it).

I'm sure I have other guilty TV pleasures. I LOVE House and keep BBCAmerica on constantly, but I don't think of those as guilty pleasures the way I do American Idol. Whew! Glad I got that confession off my chest. What was the school topic really supposed to be about?