Before I begin, let me give myself 2 justifications. 1. I'm new to the whole blogger thing. I'm a MySpace gal so far, and I'm just hoping there's a spellcheck on Blogger. 2. I had yet another happy hour this evening after work, at which I told my self I would only stay for 1 drink. After 3, I'm home, quite buzzed and watching Without a Trace while I blog. I'm a multi-tasker.
Thanks to some extra Delta SkyMiles (that were still not enough to actually travel anywhere), I've been getting Time magazine for several months now. Not that I've read many of them; I also get the Atlantic Monthly and the Economist from the same offer and hardly look at either. However, I keep hearing about this Time cover-- I'm the person of the Year?!-- but, no, I did not receive this issue. Are they trying to tell me something? I'm probably taking that too personally. A local friend blamed it on the "corrupt DC postal service, someone probably stole it," which is what I was thinking anyway since my mail is very sporadic. Once, they didn't pick up my departing mail for 3 or 4 days and when I called to complain the distribution manager who answered the phone told me, "Look, if you don't got any mail comin' in, he ain't gonna check it." "oh?" I responded, "I guess that's just the way you do things?" "yep." And how do you argue with that? So I'm going to read the article right now. Give me a second... I'm also eating dinner.
Ok, so, I haven't started reading yet, but it's awesome that the chrysler ad before the article begins, "You may not be the person of the year..." Oops. that was a waste of a couple gazillion dollars.
Who will leave a happy hour early after 3 drinks on a Tuesday to go home and fulfill her obligation to her brand new Blogsupergroup!? Me! I'm a winner! According to Time anyway.
Time? Are you listening? Good. Because that was a total cop-out. As the monstery-guy in 'Avenue Q' explains in song, "The internet is for porn." Also, I've been copyediting at work for 2 days now (I have other work, but this had been higher priority) and caught a typo in the last paragraph. There may be more, but I only caught the one. Can You?
So, I agree that the internet is fucking awesome. I can easily keep in touch with my non-DC friends who I love dearly, and that would be a lot harder if I only had to rely on free long-distance through cell phones. I can share photos and random thoughts and read about other people all over the world. and I email constantly. Also, it makes my job easier. in fact, it provides me with a job, since the project I work on within my company is a Web site (http://www.llis.gov/... you can't see it, you're not a member. And, no, I cannot give you membership, you're not an emergency responder).
Also, I participate in groups like Planned Parenthood, MoveOn, and NARAL-ProChoice, which I don't think would do very well without the internet. So I get emails about 3 times a day in my 'fake' email account asking for money from these groups. I don't mind-- I contribute about once a year. I just read what's gong on the rest of the year. If there's a petition or something, I'll sign that.
Democracy? At least the illusion of democracy, which, after voting for several years in Florida, I’ve learned to appreciate. When I sign an online petition I have full faith (not confidence) that it is delivered to and taken seriously by whatever Congress-person matters for that issue. I do understand, though, that I voted for none of them, because this year my highest profile election participation was DC School Board President. So maybe that’s what the internet provides—a voice for those of us who don’t legally have one (even though we pay the highest taxes in the country, thanks to Congress having full control of our city financials). And it probably works out to more of a voice than I had in Red-State-Florida, home of Jeb Bush, Mark Foley, Katherine Harris and the 2000 “Hanging Chads” election.
Clearly more important than some vague, faith-based concept of ‘democracy,’ though, is the vast capitalist orgy the internet provides. Catch the baby and win a Razor? Catch the baby and give Rupert whats-his-douche 50 more dollars. Shop for jewelry (click here to win free!), for music (get 5 songs for $5!), for entertainment systems (PS3’s on eBay!), for books (people still read?), for vibrators (who needs books?), for bigger penises (be a better man!), for hair implants (be a better man!), for hair removal (be a better woman!), for weight loss (be less of a person!), for anything your little mind could imagine. And, since the terrorists win when America is unable to sell penis pills and overpriced airline tickets, ergo the internet obviously promotes world peace. Ergo.
That and porn. there’s something for everyone. And what’s more democratic than that?
Also, shockingly, they found the pretty missing girl at the end of Without a Trace. And watch My Boys on TBS because it's freaking hilarious.
BLOG SUPERGROUP! Yeah!
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4 comments:
Well, I voted for you Jen.
I did forget to mention pop up ads as a sure sign of democracy. You're totally right.
But people have to fall for these things in order for them to keep appearing everywhere, right?
Who actually thinks they'll win a PS3 if they shoot a duck or beat the president in arm wrestling?
I mean, maybe the ones where you have to identify if a celebrity's face is 50 Cent or Paris Hilton, but arm wrestling? Let's get serious.
I love Avenue Q.... Now I'm going to be singing, "the internet is for porn" for the rest of the day. This wouldn't be a problem except for the fact that I'm a school teacher.
You know, I'm not so sure about this topic anymore Glenn. I don't know if I'll have anything interesting or different to say once it gets to me.
I think it's spelled Razr. Catching a baby and winning a razor would be interesting, though.
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