Topic For The Week 1

Welcome to the inaugural week of Blog Supergroup! Basically, each week there will be a new topic, on which each of the five members will write a post. Everybody on this blog has a different writing style, so it should be interesting. For instance, my writing style is "dumb."

So I just got done driving 14 hours to Illinois, and was thinking a good topic for the week would be "Road Trips." It would be funny, or maybe somebody could write an intelligent post about America and cars. But then yesterday Time Magazine picked "you" as person of the year, so I couldn't pass that up. So this week's topic is Time Magazine's person of the year for 2006.

I guess I should explain. Time Magazine (http://www.time.com) picked "you" as person of the year for 2006 because with massive online communities such as myspace (sucks), youtube (sucks unless you want streaming video of shut in playing Halo or cat walking on ceiling [ok, doesn't suck after all]), and the ever present blogosphere (word sucks, I guess blogs are awesome), you have created a worldwide digital democracy. And then they say some newage crap like "welcome to your world" or something. I don't know. I got bored summarizing the article. You can read it by clicking the fancy pants link I put up there.

But do all of these things really add up to some kind of great worldwide "digital democracy" as the article claims? Even though we have the spectre of net neutrality's abolition hanging over us, and even though I can't visit any website without a banner ads telling me to catch the baby and win a razor phone, I sort of think it is some kind of zany, terrible democracy. Here's some reasons why I think that, told in non-serious joke format, because I drove for fourteen hours today and can't think seriously. Though I guess that applies when I haven't driven fourteen hours, also.

1 - 7 million percent of the internet is still porn - Most people in the world, according to a recent survey, like looking at pictures of naked people. Now this is a very vague and general sort of taste that doesn't really demonstrate democracy at its most digitalness, but when you break down the numbers further, you'll find that 6 million percent of the porn is divided into crazy fetish subdivisions. I have never visited a porn site in my life, but reliable sources have told me that on said sites are advertisements for all sorts of zany porn sites, like people who dress up in big Casper the Ghost outfits and have sex with each other, or people who cover themselves in mustard and have sex with each other, or people who talk about having sex with each other while eating ham sandwiches. They never actually have sex, but they're in their underwear, and they take the bread off the sandwiches in the end, so that's like the sandwich is naked. Anyway, if this isn't a sign of democracy in action, I don't know what is.

2 - Equal Representation of All Issues - For instance, the liberals have political blogs that dismantle the actions of the Bush administration and Republican party, and the conservatives have the Ku Klux Klan website or godhatesfags.com or something.

3 - Wikipedia - Ahh, finally! All these stuffy fascist encyclopedias have dedicated so much time to "facts" and "science." Well, that's not what people want, and finally there's an open source encyclopedia that allows the people to pick what's important. And according to length, "Sonic the Hedgehog" is more important than the "Moon Landing." Well, the people have spoken. Also, it's great to read an article on say, "whales," and then come to a line like "Whales appeared in the motion picture Star Trek IV." Fuck that hoity toity academic bullshit! Democracy! Also, "Star Trek" is more important than "Democracy."

Well, three is all I got right now. I'm pretty tired. I'll try to think of more throughout the week, and comment on everybody else's posts, or add some throughout the week. So keep checking back! Jen is posting next, on Tuesday.

BLOG SUPERGROUP, YEAH!