Well, sorry that I have been a huge slacker lately, but I didn't want to tell my "druids" story for the 8 millionth time in blog format. I have kind of a mix between a Canadian accent and a southern accent. It's mainly a nowhere accent, though. Though goddamnit, if I hear anybody laugh when I say "sorry" again, I might snap. It's been fourteen years of that shit already.
Since I am posting this on Jane's birthday, I thought I would have the topic this week be memorable birthday stories. I know it's kind of lame, but the past few topics I've picked that I've thought were great were apparently duds, so whatev.
Anyway, I've only had a few really fun birthdays in my adult life. Since I've spent so much of my time in school or around people who are in school, my early May birthday is kind of a wrench. Everybody usually takes off at exactly the time my birthday rolls around. But there have been a couple of fun ones. Like once in Tallahassee I went to a Chinese buffet with a bunch of friends of mine and ate more than I've ever eaten before or since. Basically I was worried about a sign they had that said customers would be charged extra if they didn't finish everything, so after I got full a couple of bites into my 3rd or 4th plate I forced the rest down. I remember just getting really dizzy and wanting to puke it all back up. But that didn't seem very grateful to my friends who paid for the dinner. So I stuck with it and immediately gained 95 pounds.
Two birthdays ago was also pretty good. My girlfriend at the time threw together a bar party for me, which was fun except somebody brought a pinata full of candy. You guys might not know this about me, but I loves me some candy. So I think I ate half the pinata full of candy in addition to five or six beers. That was a bad combination and I later had to clean my girlfriend's car. I think I had to clean her car anyway. If she reads this she can corroborate the fact that I definitely cleaned her car.
Also, when I was 13 some friends and I went and saw The Sand Lot.
Those are lame stories. I guess the lesson is I am the worst BSG member.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
Just call me "Dr. Typo."
I saw Wayne's World and The Empire Strikes Back for the first time at your birthdays. The Last Starfighter, too. I forgot about The Sandlot. Probably because I hate baseball.
You shouldn't always finish your posts with an Eeyore-ish "My posts are so shitty. I'm such a bad blogger." No one thinks you're the worst BSG member, although after hearing that a man your size puked off of 6 beer, they might think you're a total pussy.
This isn't to say that anyone else is the worst BSG member, but rather that BSG membership is not a zero sum affair.
At least I don't think it is. I really don't know most of you guys.
It was the candy that caused me to puke, though, not the beer. I just want to clarify that.
Are you trying to convince us, or yourself?
He he he
Actually, if I remember correctly, you scared me by coming up behind me while I was cleaning my car...
Just sayin'.
Post a Comment