Blogmare On Supergroup Street 4: The Dream Master

Well, I thought I would have lots of dream related things to talk about, but I can't remember most of the recurring ones I should remember right now. So I'll just mention a few.

I guess the dreams that stick out the most are the nightmares, or the really bizarre dreams. When I was a kid I had a recurring nightmare in which I would stumble into my parents bedroom, and on the tops of the walls there would be the shadows of many icicles illuminated by the television. I would never see the icicles, but I remember this dream very vividly, and it always freaked me out.

I mentioned in one of the responses to somebody's post earlier that I frequently have dreams in which a meteor crashes out of the sky to the horizon and creates a huge explosion, but more common than that is a dream in which I will be walking or driving along and I will witness a passenger plane crash two or three blocks away. This dream predated September 11, and even my fear of flying. I've had the dream so much now that whenever it happens, in my dream I actually say "And this time, it's not a dream." Whoops, dream Glenn, you're so dumb.

The classic recent (past 5 years) nightmare that I've had (and it's weird because it's so stupid) is that I dreamed that a paid a surgeon to remove all my bones. For some reason, he had to pull them all out through the soles of my feet. The feeling it made was a lot like stitches being pulled through you when you just have a local anesthetic. But the worst part was that after I had all my bones removed, every time somebody touched my skullless head I would lose a memory, and get slowly dumber. All my friends thought it was hilarious, and kept touching my head, and I just got dumber and dumber as the dream went on. I guess it sounds lame written down.

I still have countless dreams in which I am still teaching 7th grade. In each dream I begin by thinking I finally have a handle on the class, and I will be capable of teaching them. But by the end of the dream the class is always in chaos again, and I can't restore order. I think I had a variation of this dream the other night, even, except I was teaching at some college, and the college was located in the middle of a refurbished mall.

I don't think Farnell reads this blog at all, but I recently had a dream that for some reason I let him drive my car. He was doing fine, but then the steering went out, and we careened across a huge intersection and into a parking lot. We were fine, but then he forgot how to put the car into park and we bumped into somebody's parked car. They got totally pissed and started keying my car like crazy. This losing control of a car dream is something I have a lot. I will take a turn a lot faster than I mean to and fly off the edge of the road, into trees. Or suddenly my feet won't reach the pedals, and the car just keeps speeding up.

Well, I probably have infinity more interesting dreams that I can't think of right now. I'll try to remember them and maybe edit this post. Or this is probably already plenty long.

The terrorists are winning! (Or is it the Mooninites?)

You'd think that as a PolySci major I'd be all over this constitution debate... but, um... honestly, I'm gonna go with Aqua Teen Hunger Force. See, yesterday morning I sat at my computer eating breakfast and reading through Nick's post about the Constitution, formulating my responses as I went along... and then suddenly I was thrown off. This was the sentence that did it: However, this uproar over the Aqua Teen Hunger Force "guerrilla advertising" campaign is a huge black mark. Huh? See, I live overseas. I get my news from my customized Google News homepage, which I've set up to be pretty focused on international affairs, specifically those pertaining to Russia and Korea. While I do know what Aqua Teen Hunger Force is (courtesy of my most recent ex), the rest of that sentence - indeed the rest of the paragraph - made little sense to me. So of course, I had to google it and find out what the hell our buddy Nick was going on about.

For those of you who, like me, were clueless as to this whole nonsense, let me give you the run-down. The Adult Swim folks over at Cartoon Network hired a marketing agency, who in turn hired two dudes in their twenties to do some "guerrilla advertising" - neon, glowy thingies in the shape of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force character Ignignokt (a Mooninite - as in he lives on the Moon) were placed all over a whole bunch of cities, including Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Francisco, and Philadelphia. The idea was that people would see these random Ignignokt images and think, "Hey, I wanna go watch Aqua Teen Hunger Force." Or something. I can't imagine that in a sensible society the proliferation of this visually unappealing Mooninite would have done much to boost ratings. But apparently some of us no longer live in a sensible society.

One of the devices that shut down Boston

While Ignignokt popped up all over the place, the Bostonians were the ones to panic, frantically calling 911, while the local police force all but shut the city down. Apparently, the mayor of Boston said, "It is outrageous, in a post 9/11 world, that a company would use this type of marketing scheme." Well, mayor, the terrorists have just won. He's essentially saying that through September 10, 2001 this form of advertising would have been acceptable. Annoying and unsightly, perhaps, but acceptable. He's admitted that because of 9/11 he and the residents of the city now automatically view glowing cartoon characters as threats.

You can't let your lives be ruled by fear, people.

As an aside, this has turned into a marketing coup for Cartoon Network, even with the two million dollar fine Turner Broadcasting has agreed to pay:

In one sweeping and inexpensive maneuver, Aqua Teen Hunger Force jumped to the top of search engines, blogs and news aggregators, in addition to garnering coverage from just about every major media source. Millions of people, who probably thought Adult Swim meant skinny dipping, may now tune into the Cartoon Network just to see what all the fuss is about. Compared to the estimated $2.6 million it will cost for thirty seconds of publicity during Sunday's Super Bowl, this phony bomb scare certainly got a lot more bang for the buck! [article here]

Fear, Bravery, Social Anxiety, and that grey area we call Life

Over the years I’ve had a lot of people tell me, “You must be really brave!” or ask me, “But weren’t you scared?” when I mention various things I’ve done over the course of my short life. What have I done to elicit such reactions? Well, the following are the most conspicuous offenders:

• When I was 16, my 15 year old friend Melissa and I joined her 21 year old sister for a month long, unsupervised jaunt around Costa Rica. During this trip I boarded a “bus” that was little more than a covered pick-up crammed full of people – one of whom had a gun strapped to his hip.
• When I was 20, I went to Russia for six weeks. At the time, the US State Department was issuing warnings to American citizens, advising them to avoid Russia due to a ten-year high in anti-American sentiment.
• When I was 21, I went to Russia for seven months, during which time I frequently hitchhiked home alone in the middle of the night after clubbing.
• When I was 22, Melissa and I moved to South Korea to teach English.

• Five months later, we snuck out of the country in the middle of the night.
• When I was 23, Melissa (she’s often my partner in crime, huh?) and I spent two months in Costa Rica, subsidized by our on-the-fly web design business.
• When I was 24, I drove from Florida to California by myself.
• In California, I worked as a Special Agent for twenty-seven months. (No, that is *not* a lie.)
• My government job sent me back to South Korea when I was 25, during which time I visited the DMZ and straddled the 38th parallel in the treaty room at Panmunjom.
• When I was 26, I moved to Russia for a year to teach English.
• When I was 27, I rode a motorcycle across the melting ice of the world’s deepest lake, Lake Baikal (located in Siberia).
• I am currently living in South Korea, Kim Jong Il detonating nukes north of the border not withstanding.

I don’t consider any of the above acts of bravery – they’re just part of my life, how I live. (Okay, some of them – namely the 3am solitary hitchhiking and the motorcycling across Lake Baikal – were definitely less bravery and more lapses in common sense. And that solo drive across the US? That was simply done out of necessity; I couldn’t very well have started a new job from the wrong side of the continent, now could I?)

Looking back over the 28 years of my life, there’s very little that I’ve done that I consider *brave*. To me, bravery implies facing a fear and conquering it. And I don’t mean going bungee jumping because the idea scares you – that’s just stupidity. I mean facing down a fear that you might very well encounter in everyday life. That being said, I doubt that those individuals who expressed awe over my so-called “bravery” would be too impressed by the handful of times I’ve successfully removed spiders from my living space. (I’m sure my mom – who loves spiders, by the way – can vouch for the times I’ve had her do the spider-removal for me, even as an adult.) Yes ladies and gentlemen, spiders give me the willies, and I do my best to avoid them at all times. As I mentioned in my reply to Stephanie’s original reference to arachnophobia, I believe there’s a direct relationship here to my exposure at a young age to Tolkien’s spiders of Mirkwood and their ginormous relative, Shelob. Thank you, Peter Jackson for so vividly bringing that nightmare to life for me. Seriously, a shiver just ran through my entire body.

But other than returning spiders to their native habitat (i.e., anywhere where I am not), I can think of only one thing I have done in 28 years that I view as having been an act of bravery: When I was 25, I asked a guy out. And it even worked out pretty well for a time too. So yeah, in 28 years, during over half of which I have been quite interested in dating, I have asked a sum total of ONE guy out. I don’t think I’d ever been quite so nerve-wrackingly terrified in all my life. And don’t even get me started on making new friends. It’s just not something I do. I have no idea how one goes about successfully meeting people outside of school or work. The thought of going to a bar or club alone is petrifying. (And I did actually try my hand at online dating when I first moved to CA, and let’s just say I’m never doing *that* again!) I haven’t made any new friends since moving to Korea, and I’ve been here nearly six months. I don’t mind; I’m fantastically self-sufficient, and I’ve been having a blast since I’ve been here (and I did already have one friend living in Korea when I arrived, so it’s not like I’m all alone or anything). I would like to have more people in my life, but the thought of trying to go out and round up new friends is, honestly, frightening to me.

I don't roll on Shabbos

I have had a rough week; I got sick, work has been horrible, my iPod keeps crashing but I don't want to spend money to get a new one (now that I actually have some money in my savings); etc. I just sat down after a long day and long week, so I'm not going to take long to post. I will say that I can't think of too much that I am afraid of, at least things that would be interesting to post. Other people here, they have strange phobias or interesting fears, or at least interesting stories about their fears and phobias.

The thing that I am probably most scared of is death; but not in any abnormal sense, I don't think. And I think I'm more scared of what comes after (I haven't decided whether I like the idea of a heaven/afterlife/eternity or not- not that it matters) and of the way that it will happen. Related to that, I'm also scared of losing my mind; meaning, getting a disease that involves dementia, or loss of memories. That scares me pretty bad; mostly that stuff happening when I am young (when I'm old, I can just kill myself).

As far as everyday stuff, I am afraid of heights; mostly, I'm scared of flying. I have never been on a plane, and I'm pretty terrified to get on one. Whenever I'm up very high looking over a rail or something, I am flustered at first; like when I went to a football game at Dolphin Stadium, and we were quite high up, when I looked down it took me a few minutes to get used to it. But I got over it pretty quickly. So I think that I will probably get over it whenever I get on a plane. I don't like spiders, but I am not scared of them; I will kill them, as opposed to what I usually do with bugs (I take them outside). But that's because some spiders bite, and I don't know which ones do and which ones don't. Can't think of any real strange fears or phobias really.

When I was little, I was obsessively afraid of the Christian version of the end of the world. Growing up in Lake City, everyone went to church, except (it seemed) my family (which I am now in retrospect very thankful for), so I wasn't exposed to the fire and brimstone shit, nor was I exposed to the wonderful little gems in the Book of Revelations. I remember staying at a friends house, who was very Christian and whose family went to Church every Sunday (and who also had pornography in the house and swore like a sailor- I didn't see the irony in that situation at the time), and they were very into the end times; I ended up watching one of these "news" shows with the Hal Lindsey-esque end of the world prophesy watch, and descriptions of how the end of the world would be and the fact that with all of the crap happening in the world (this was probably like 1990 or something) we were on the cusp of the rapture. Then there is this movie that I saw some of, called Thief in the Night if I remember correctly, and it scared me shitless. And then I remember having nightmares for quite a while about the end of the world. Now, I find it very interesting, and completely ridiculous, and I join the Christians in waiting for the end to happen; I'd like to see if they are right. Better to find out that way than after I die, right?

With that, I'm off to rest.

our fears define us. or not.

Sorry, I missed my day and don't have a lot of time right now to post either, since I'm at work. But I like this topic, and I'll throw my hat into the ring.

Most of my fears don't affect my daily life, and the ones that do I've learned to live with. Except spiders. Several weekends ago I started crying when my boyfriend wanted me to help him kill the biggest, ugliest, most gut-filled, killer spider in the history of humankind and spiderkind. it took him, a broom, a bucket, and a pile of junk mail to get the job done while I stayed frozen in place near the door, too afraid to go out to help him and too afraid to leave him out there alone. Horrible.

I don't think my fears are very unique, but here are some in no particular order:

--Spiders
--Death
--Eating bugs
--George W. Bush
--People who crawl out of the TV to get me (like in Ringu)
--Sometimes, my TV
--Stray bullets
--A certain type of face: white, male, around 40 years old, prematurely aged from drugs/drink/homelessness, lined and quite hopeless
--Fake sugar
--Male doctors
--Religious zealots from any religion
--Failure
--Powerful governments
--Vampires
--Bombs
--Hopelessness and despair
--Foie Gras
--Mel Gibson's most recent avatar
--Death of people I love
--Home invaders
--Mediocrity
--People who won’t say what they mean
--Terrorists (in the pure sense of the word)

When they torture me in Guantanamo, I hope they use the foie gras.

Fear is what quickens me

Hey, everybody. Sorry about posting this so late in the night. Today was our first day back at school, and it was a long day. Also, it's freezing rain here right now. That doesn't really have anything to do with why my post is late, but I thought I'd add it as a fun fact.

There used to be a time when I wouldn't tell anybody my fear because I thought if Nineteen Eighty-Four ever came true then I would be in a lot of trouble whenever they threw me into room 101. But now since everybody in the world knows my main two fears because of MySpace, I guess big brother's already won anyway.

First, my main fear is my fear of flying. That's the one that causes me the most problems. But that's also the one that's the most boring, because everybody's already heard all my good scared of flying stories. Plus I haven't been on a plane in six years. It's pretty easy to avoid flying, when you just drive everywhere or take the train.

Second, cockroaches. It's not pretty easy to avoid cockroaches if you live in the south. In fact, despite the fact that today it hasn't been above 38 degrees Fahrenheit all day long, there was a roach in Ginny's apartment earlier. I hate those dudes. First off, it sucks that they're gross. Second off, it sucks that they're big. That's enough to be a big problem right there. But no! There's a third off. Those motherfuckers can fly! You should get two out of the previous three options, max. I wish I was calling those shots.

Even dead roaches are terrifying to me, because roaches have a really mean sense of humor. For example, you may see a dead roach and say to yourself "My, there's a dead roach. I better pick it up and dispose of it forthwith." But then when you pick it up, it yells "Surprise motherfucker!" and runs down your throat.

So that's why when I was in high school I paid my 10 year old sister to throw away a big dead roach for me. And why when my good friend Jane visited me once in Tallahassee, I begged her to get rid of a big dead roach. I'm a bad host/big brother.

Also, roaches are mean. Did I mention that? Anyway, when I first moved in with Laurie and Martin back in our disgusting house, there was a gigantic roach on my bed. I tried to get my cat Ophelia to eat it, but it hissed at her (I swear). So suddenly, I decided that I would be kind hearted, and I got it out of the house alive. Come three nights later, when I walked into our kitchen, the same fucking gigantic fucking roach is on the ceiling above me. It drops down, yells "Hiya, pally!" and starts flying at me. This time I got Xerxes on the case and he ate it.

An earlier incidence of cockroach dickery was in high school. (PS - I know there's no linearity in this post. I'm really tired). I was transferring some medical records at my dad's office in the big medical records room. I noticed a roach on the far wall, but I decided not to go kill it. After all, it was on the far wall. So I get to work, and fifteen minutes later that six-legged motherfucker drops down on the papers in front of me. If it had just dropped onto my face a couple of inches away I would have instantly died. The brain would have said "There's no longer any point to live now that there's a roach on my face. The end."

So in conclusion, roaches really suck, and do it to Julia.

The Only Thing To Fear...

Inspired by the book I'm currently reading Buried Alive: The Terrifying History of Our Most Primal Fear, I've decided this week's topic is fear/phobias.

Though it's an interesting book, I can't say that I really have a fear of being buried alive. With medical practices and embalming being what they are now, I doubt such an accident could happen. That's not to say that someone wouldn't do it on purpose, but as of right now I can't name anyone who would want to do that to me. However, I suppose you could be embalmed or autopsied alive (for a rather frightening story about that read Autopsy Room 4 in Everything's Eventual by Stephen King).

I started to think about fears and phobias and how powerful they are, along with what some of mine are. Some of the scariest characters in books and movies to me, are the ones that turn into or prey off their victims' fears. Even though the movie was pretty bad, It still scares me a little. I even sometimes have nightmares about Pennywise the clown, but I still watch it, and still read books that terrify me.

Fears and phobias dictate our behavior. For example I have a fear of heights - not necessarily of being up high, but of falling from them. It's so extreme that I can't get near the edge of a dropoff, even if there's a railing. My dad has the same phobia, and we were talking about it the other night. However mine can be extreme, for example: I didn't like being on the walkways at the Virgin Megastore in Orlando. The railings were maybe waist-high and had mostly glass with a metal bar on top, and I was convinced if I accidentally tripped and fell (not far-fetched if you know me) that I would smash through the glass and break my back when I fell on the Cd racks below. Completely irrational. That's not to say that I didn't go up to the second floor, but it always made me nervous.

I also have a fear of spiders. I can't say that I've ever been bitten by one, but they creep me out. When I was in 10th grade Glenn and I were filming a movie, and we had to run through the woods. After the take, we were walking back and I ran into a spiders web. Gross, but after I freaked out and I didn't see a spider on me, I kept walking. So we were standing around while Matt or someone put up the camera, when Jeremy says "Don't move - there's a huge banana spider on your back". So what do I do? Immediately rip off my jacket (luckily I was wearing one) and threw it to the ground. The guys got it off for me, and though I didn't see it (I was told it was as big as my hand), it left a nasty neon green/yellow web behind.

Just a few years ago, I had another incident. I was taking a shower, when I looked up and saw this giant black, hairy spider above the doorway to the bathroom. My first reaction was to jump out of the shower and leave (there were thankfully 2 doors), but I had already started shampooing, so I stayed - never taking my eyes off the spider. I decided that if he moved I was getting out ASAP, breaking the door down if I had to. Thankfully he didn't move, and after I got out my mom called my grandpa over. Being the faithful entomologist he is, he killed it with bug spray and then put it in a solution in a jar so he could look up what it was. Obviously I wasn't hurt in either case, but I could have been bitten (although I don't think either was poisonous), so I don't think the fear completely irrational. I can be near spiders without killing them too - if they're small and not near me. If they're hanging out anywhere near or above someplace I have to walk by - goodbye Boris.

An interesting fear to me is the fear of technology taking over. It's the premise of the Terminator movies, and others like Maximum Overdrive. I found this article on BBC not too long ago. For anyone not willing to read it, or wanting a short synopsis, a study done by the British government said that in the next 20- 50 years, robots could be granted rights equal to humans. It also said that if granted, the government would have to provide social benefits including housing, and even "robo-healthcare" - of course they would have to pay taxes too. Are we living in a scifi novel? Is Isaac Asimov advising the British government? I read this and laugh, but you know there are people out there - the extreme techno-phobes like Ted Kaczynski, who would read that and be terrified (or start their plans to take out all robots).

Going with the theme of the week I thought I'd include a link to The Pop-up Book of Phobias. There's also The Pop-up Book of Nightmares. I bought that one for my friend Java as a wedding present, with the stipulation that she keep it on the bedside table in her guest bedroom. Last time I talked to her, she does, and it creeps her mother out when she stays over.