Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teaching. Show all posts

Thursday, July 05, 2007

confessions of a traveling hermit

Wondering how I ended up teaching English in South Korea and owning a home in the Waycross, GA ghetto? Well, it’s definitely a bit of a long story. Some of you know have heard this tale already, but in the hopeful assumption that there are some of you out there reading this blog who *haven’t* heard it, here we go!

I’ve written before about my job working at the Department of Defense. If you missed that journey into my past, you can read about it here. But all you need to know about that job for the purposes of this story is the following:

I left that job because I disliked it intensely. Why? Well, the work was highly repetitive, and essentially simple. I often remarked that a group of blind monkeys could have done what I did, even though the work, in fact, was not all that simple. It was an incredibly high-stress job. I had tension headaches all the time, and spent a fortune on ThermaCare heat wraps for my tense neck and shoulders. I kept a bottle of Pepto-Bismol in the drink holder of my work car at all times. I would swill directly from said bottle several times per day. I held this job for twenty-seven months, during which time I developed my first wrinkles and my first ulcer. Of course, this job did have its pros: it paid well, and was on a set promotion-schedule (the longer you worked there, the more money you made), and I had health insurance and paid sick and vacation days. Those are some good pros, but...

One of my coworkers had worked at that job long enough to retire. He hated it; he was miserable. The month he retired, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Several of my coworkers were eligible to retire, yet they kept working. It certainly wasn't because they loved the job; they hated it and bitched about it constantly. Why didn't they retire? Because the longer they worked, the greater their retirement package would be. They wanted all the money they could get. Before I left, there were two heart attacks and one stroke (none of them fatal) among my eligible to retire coworkers... and yet they were all still working there when I left.

I left the Department of Defense because I didn't like my job. It was not personally satisfying in any way, and it was taking a high toll on me physically and mentally. I left the DOD to accept a position as an ESL teacher in Russia, where I received a salary of roughly $200/mo, and I never regretted my decision.

Why did I decide to move to Russia? Well, I double-majored in Russian and Political Science in college, during which time I spent nine (non-consecutive) months in Russia, and I loved every minute of my time there. I had accepted the position at the Department of Defense, thinking it was the sort of position that someone with a PolySci degree *should* accept, although while there, I constantly felt as though I were wasting my education, as I rarely put any facet of my degree to use. Additionally, I often felt as though my job was useless; if you read this post, you'll realize why. I thought that perhaps if I got a job with a non-profit organization, one that works to facilitate international relations between the US and Russia (and there are several), I would feel satisfaction from my work. I would also be both using my degree and accomplishing something.

But, there was a flaw in that plan. See, I graduated from college in 2001. Following graduation, I spent five months in South Korea, two months in Costa Rica, and twenty-seven months within walking distance of Mexico. At the point at which I began to consider changing fields, I hadn't spoken Russian in four years. My Russian skills had degenerated into something that I termed, "spanglorusskikonglish" - not really something to put on my resume. I decided that spending a year in Russia, teaching English and studying Russian, would allow me to rebuild my skills, and would look great on my resume. I had it all planned out: a year in Russia, and then I could apply for a job. I even had a specific employer in mind.

Then fate intervened. Some personal things happened to me while in Russia, which led me to reevaluate the course my life was taking. I'm not going to get into that here, as it's not really something I want to discuss in a public forum. I only bring that up to let you know that in the fall of 2005 I stepped back and looked at what I was doing with my life. I realized that I was in danger of making the same mistakes which landed me in the job at the DOD.

Like I mentioned above, the DOD job was the sort of job that a college grad with a high GPA and a PolySci major is expected to land. And yet there I was in Russia, trying to follow the expected path of a Russian major. While in theory, working for a non-profit that works in and/or with Russia sounds appealing, when I began to examine my job prospects, reality was quite a turn-off. Check out the following, an actual ad for a position at the sort of NGO that interested me. They were searching for someone with my qualifications to:

Assist in conducting research on price and quality comparison for necessary office supplies/equipment. Responsible for inventory of office supplies/equipment and ordering. Responsible for receiving and shipping mail for staff. Organize archives, media hits, vendor files and Staff Meeting Minutes. Update and maintain contact database for mailing. Assemble material for volunteer information and general inquires for mailings. Ensure cleanliness of office areas for visitors. Communicate with vendors for troubleshooting and service orders. Answer reception phone line during business hours. Handle referrals to appropriate staff members and questions from public. Assist Executive Director with administrative tasks. Prepare mailings for staff and distribute mail. Assist in researching items for program development. Assemble presentation materials for special events. Provide assistance in special projects. Update and maintain handouts for social services department, legal program and the reception areas. Responsible for paying monthly bills and vendors on a timely basis including mailing of payments. Ensure signature on checks. Track and reconcile credit card statements and time & attendance. Organize check requests, bank statements and deposits for Bookkeeper. Attend and record minutes for Staff Meetings. Ensure cleanliness of conference room. Provide refreshments for Board Meetings. Assist in preparing Board Packet mailings. Assist with staff and Board member accommodations. Assist with organizational events. Organize state and national organizations information, maintain equipment inventory in the Equipment Inventory Log. Coordinate / schedule technology visits. Maintain administrative office files. Other duties as identified and assigned.

Ahh, the job opportunities for someone with a BA in Russian. Not so appealing. Ensure cleanliness of office areas? Communicate with vendors? Research price and quality comparison for necessary office supplies/equipment? Would I really feel as though I were accomplishing *anything* with my life if those were my duties? True, not all job descriptions sounded quite that bad, but none of them made me feel as though I had found the niche that I was looking to fill. Not to mention that nearly all such positions are located in some of the most expensive cities in the United States, yet pay very little. (Now, I am not all that interested in making tons of money - as I explain further along in this post - but I don't want to run into debt either. I lived like a pauper in San Diego so I could pay off all my debts, and I'd like to remain largely debt-free as long as possible. But we'll talk more about money in a minute.)

Of course the opportunities in the nonprofit sector are slightly broader for someone with a Masters or a Doctorate, and as such, I briefly and seriously considered grad school. But (and I mean no offense to those of my good friends currently in grad school) the more grad school stories I heard (and continue to hear) from my friends, the less excited I became by the prospect of an advanced degree. Honestly, so much of grad school sounds like utter bullshit to me. For example, I know someone (a dear friend, highly intelligent, and whom I greatly respect) who earned his PhD by writing a dissertation on third person impersonal pronouns no longer used in the modern Russian language. What is the point?

Please bear in mind that I am in no way opposed to the pursuit of knowledge, and I truly hope that there never comes a day when I cease to learn new things. But so much of academia just seems so senseless to me, all this specialization to the point of incomprehension. Perhaps one day I will enter a Masters program for teaching ESL, but for now, I have decided that grad school is not the route for me.

So what is the route for me? I thought quite seriously about remaining in Russia for a second year. I loved my job there, my coworkers and my students... but financially, I simply couldn't. As I mentioned above, before moving to Russia, I paid off all of my debts (car, student loans, credit card), and I accrued enough savings to finance my year abroad at a salary of $200/mo without again going into debt, but I simply couldn't afford to do it for a second year. True, I had enough credit that I could have started charging expenses with the plan of paying off my debts when I returned to the US and got a "real job" - but that's one black hole I have no intention of falling down.

Instead, I thought about what it was about my life in Russia that was making me happy. I surprised myself with the answer: for me, the best thing about my situation in Russia was the lack of stress. True, occasionally I would fret about things like what to do about my students who were chronically failing their exams, or how to turn the lyrics of I am a Rock into a ninety minute discussion, but I never suffered a moment of the gut-wrenching stress that I put up with for twenty-seven months in San Diego. Back in 2000, following my seven-month stint in St. Petersburg, I'm sure my answer to what it was about Russia that made me happy would have been different. It would have involved the Russian people, or the Russian culture, or the amazing historical architecture, or even the Russian nightlife... not that I don't still love the Russian people, architecture and culture (I have found that I'm a bit too old for nightclubs), but I've changed. I enjoy spending time in Russia, but I no longer feel as tied to Russia as I once did. I guess that's an odd thing to say, coming from someone who has spent so much time there (and who is planning to return there at the end of August!), but it's true. The best thing about my life in Russia was the lack of stress.

Thus, I arrived at goal number one for my future: Remain in a low-stress situation. But other than low-stress, what else do I want out of life? I made a list of things that I enjoy doing:

• Reading (Self-explanatory, and if you've read any of my blog, you'll have noticed how it often becomes Jane's Book Review)
• Writing (Ever since I was a little kid, I've enjoyed writing, and I do it mostly for my own personal satisfaction. I've written one book. I’m working on another (although I’m going on a year plus of writer’s block). I love blogging; it’s addicting.)
• Taking photographs (again, self-explanatory – but feel free to check out my photos!)
• Traveling (Why am I writing explanations? Again, self-explanatory. I mean, I live in South Korea.)
• Web/Graphics design (There are many people who are far better at this than I am... I'm not really qualified to do this for a career or anything, but it is quite an absorbing hobby. I do all the work on janekeeler.com. It's nothing fancy, but it's definitely something I enjoy playing around with.)
• Playing with kitties. Not to try and compete with Linda or anything, but I am totally destined to become a crazy cat lady. (Speaking of, anyone want to adopt a kitten?)
• Spending time ALONE doing the above. (Yes, spending time alone is a very important component of my happiness. Perhaps the most important of all. Don't get me wrong; I enjoy the company of others. I love my friends and family, and I enjoy spending time with them. But not all the time. I enjoy spending substantial quality time alone doing the various things listed above.)
• Teaching ESL (I really enjoy teaching. I have fun in class. I enjoy getting to know my students, and - I know this is going to sound hokey - but it's incredibly rewarding to see my students learn and grow in their use of English. I don't want to teach English for the rest of my life, but I wouldn't mind doing it for the next few years.)

So there you have it: the list of things I like to do. After making my list, I decided to make said list my life goals. Simple as that. You've read the list, so now you know you know what I want to do with my life. But how?

Well first, you might notice that among my list of things that are important to me, I have no desire to accumulate a large amount of wealth, to own an expensive home or a fancy car. I rarely buy new things; I'm perfectly content with clothes and furniture from yardsales and thrift stores. I know how to live frugally. Granted, I can't live completely without funds, but the funds I need don't have to be big. In fact, they can be pretty meager.

The stereotypical "American Dream" that, as an American, one hears about from an early age, is that in America, if a person works hard enough, he can achieve anything. In America, anyone can become whatever he wants to become, so long as he puts his mind to it. In reality, this American dream is simply code for "if you work really hard, then you can make a lot of money." Well, that's great. But do I really want to work myself to death for money? We've already determined that I don't want a lot of money.

How can a person live cheaply? Well, for starters, live somewhere that's inexpensive. As I mentioned above, I lived in San Diego for 27 months. At the time, the average price for a home was $500,000. I was renting a tiny studio apartment for over $700/month, which was located directly under the flight line for the San Diego airport. That’s what kept my rent so cheap. (Sadly, that's true). Nearly all of the Southern Californians whom I met were resigned to the fact that they would *never* be able to pay off their homes. Houses in North Florida (where I grew up) are going for around $150,000 to $200,000 these days (although the housing bubble is bursting). This looks like quite an improvement over SoCal until you learn that my mom got her house in Waycross, GA for under $30,000. And goods (on average) are cheaper there too.

That was how I decided to relocate my base of operations to Waycross. In case you know nothing whatsoever about Waycross, don’t feel bad. It’s pretty tiny. Wikipedia has some stats on it here and you can see some of my photos of the place here. In March 2006, I purchased a house Waycross for $27,500. Granted it’s in the ghetto, but hey – I’ve never been all that into being neighborly. When people find out that I bought a house in Waycross, the general reaction seems to be, "But what will you *do* there?" and "Won't you be bored?" Look back at the list of things I like to do, people. Half of them I can do anywhere, and the other half, by definition, I can't do at home, no matter where "home" is.

I want to relax, to write, to grow some veggies and to sit around my house reading cheesy mysteries and fooling around on the internet.

But how will I pay for this house, you ask? As inexpensive it was, it still has to be paid for. Well, by teaching ESL of course. True, I have already mentioned that my ESL job in Russia, which I loved very much, paid very, very little, but in many places around the world, ESL teachers earn substantially more. I have been teaching English in South Korea since August 2006, and I am making enough to put a sizable dent in my mortgage – and to fund this boondoggle to Siberia and keep me in food and water for four or five months when I return to Waycross. Additionally, my mother agreed to be my lending agent for this venture, which has definitely smoothed the way somewhat (kind of tough to get a mortgage on an income of $200/mo!) My plan is simple: teach English for a year or so somewhere, then hermit for a while in Georgia. Then, when I start to run out of subsistence funds or become stir-crazy, I will teach ESL somewhere else in the world. There are so many countries I would love to visit. I’m actually leaning towards Kuwait as my next destination, although who knows! :-)

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Blogmare On Supergroup Street 4: The Dream Master

Well, I thought I would have lots of dream related things to talk about, but I can't remember most of the recurring ones I should remember right now. So I'll just mention a few.

I guess the dreams that stick out the most are the nightmares, or the really bizarre dreams. When I was a kid I had a recurring nightmare in which I would stumble into my parents bedroom, and on the tops of the walls there would be the shadows of many icicles illuminated by the television. I would never see the icicles, but I remember this dream very vividly, and it always freaked me out.

I mentioned in one of the responses to somebody's post earlier that I frequently have dreams in which a meteor crashes out of the sky to the horizon and creates a huge explosion, but more common than that is a dream in which I will be walking or driving along and I will witness a passenger plane crash two or three blocks away. This dream predated September 11, and even my fear of flying. I've had the dream so much now that whenever it happens, in my dream I actually say "And this time, it's not a dream." Whoops, dream Glenn, you're so dumb.

The classic recent (past 5 years) nightmare that I've had (and it's weird because it's so stupid) is that I dreamed that a paid a surgeon to remove all my bones. For some reason, he had to pull them all out through the soles of my feet. The feeling it made was a lot like stitches being pulled through you when you just have a local anesthetic. But the worst part was that after I had all my bones removed, every time somebody touched my skullless head I would lose a memory, and get slowly dumber. All my friends thought it was hilarious, and kept touching my head, and I just got dumber and dumber as the dream went on. I guess it sounds lame written down.

I still have countless dreams in which I am still teaching 7th grade. In each dream I begin by thinking I finally have a handle on the class, and I will be capable of teaching them. But by the end of the dream the class is always in chaos again, and I can't restore order. I think I had a variation of this dream the other night, even, except I was teaching at some college, and the college was located in the middle of a refurbished mall.

I don't think Farnell reads this blog at all, but I recently had a dream that for some reason I let him drive my car. He was doing fine, but then the steering went out, and we careened across a huge intersection and into a parking lot. We were fine, but then he forgot how to put the car into park and we bumped into somebody's parked car. They got totally pissed and started keying my car like crazy. This losing control of a car dream is something I have a lot. I will take a turn a lot faster than I mean to and fly off the edge of the road, into trees. Or suddenly my feet won't reach the pedals, and the car just keeps speeding up.

Well, I probably have infinity more interesting dreams that I can't think of right now. I'll try to remember them and maybe edit this post. Or this is probably already plenty long.

Friday, April 06, 2007

T-T-T-Transitions

That was the B-Side to Changes. Not many people know that. Basically, I stole Stephanie's joke sort of.

Well, I had a pretty good transition story about some current situations in the English department here at good ole U of H, but then I though "Uh oh. What if the people in question read this blog?" They probably don't, since basically most of our readers are Jane's blog's readers. And people searching for ways to get condoms out of their eyes. But I'm playing it safe.

So my transition story is about the one time I graduated college and then realized at the last minute "Hey, I need a job or something. This school thing is over." So, having a million options with a BA in English (and a minor in Asian history, for some reason), I decided to apply to a lot of middle school or high school teaching positions. You used to be able to do that in Florida if you weren't certified, as long as your degree was in the subject you were teaching. Well, at the last minute, just when I hoped, I mean, worried that I was not going to be hired by anybody, I was hired by a great little school by the name of Kissimmee Middle School. Oh, maybe I should disguise that name in case parents are looking for great schools for their kids and decide against that one. (Disclaimer: I taught there five years ago. I'm sure it's a way awesome school now.)

Anyway, when I was hired, the principal told me that he didn't want to hire me, and that I would probably be a bad teacher, but that he was going to give me a shot anyway. It turns out he was right, and I was a bad teacher, but I'd like to think it was the fault of the bureaucracy and other teachers. And I guess my fault for being so mean, too. But because I've told stories of how bad it was to teach there before, here's the abridged list version.

- When I told the administration that I felt that around 30 of my students needed to be held back because they could barely read, they told me they couldn't afford to fail them, and would just pass any students I failed anyway. The more students a school fails, the less money they receive. But the more students a school fails, they more money they need because they will have more students. So of the 30 students I actually turned in Fs for, the school failed 2.

- Our school was a "C" school by Florida standards. In Florida, schools are assigned money by how high a grade they get. A schools get more money, F schools get the least. Our school was a "C" school, but not because of grades. In fact, I was told our students would never get higher grades on standardized tests or general academics. It was just the demographics. So to maintain a "C" grade, the school bought hundreds of computers, because technology level was used in calculating the grade. Now, most of these computers were not hooked up, and there was nobody to teach the students how to use them, but because there were computers physically located at the school, our letter grade was maintained.

- The geography teacher on my team really hated me. She told the students not to listen to anything I said, and that I did not know what I was talking about. I'm not sure where this hatred originated. But she did have a hand in getting the science teacher fired. Now, when the kids were taught sex ed they split them up into boys and girls. The science teacher got the boys, and the geography teacher got the girls. (Thank fucking god I did not have to teach sex ed.) Anyway, they decided they needed to be "hip" with the kids. The science teacher decided to tell dirty jokes. Which was a bad idea and he got fired for it after the geography teacher told some students what to tell the principal. However, the geography teacher decided that to be hip she should tell the girls how much she loves blowjobs, and how she loves giving her husband blowjobs first thing in the morning, and that the girls should give their boyfriends oral sex to avoid pregnancy. For some reason, that seems a lot worse to me than dirty jokes. But this was the same teacher who told the students that Hitler was gay, and that's what caused the holocaust, and also one day when a football player (13) took off his shirt in her class she came to me afterwards saying "He did not look 13, let me tell you." Gross.

Anyway, that's not really a transition story. I guess it was the transition from school to the real world, and it was miserable. But on the other hand, I got real paid.