Man, I used to love those kid shows-- Seasame Street, Square One, 3-2-1 Contact, and Channel One in the afternoons at school. I still watch them, too, although Glenn was right about Elmo's World: stoopid. But if you're home from work in the mid-morning, Seasame Street and Dora the Explorer are still better quality TV than any 6-hour long morning news show with 20 minutes of real information that just gets recycled and drawn out with fancy graphics and 'teasers.'
Last night I camped out in front of the History Channel all night watching shows about the battle of Thermopylae, pirate history and technology, and historial sexual practices from around the world. And then I watched TAPS, the SciFi ghost hunter show I mentioned before (although not educational in the least, I do love that show).
I have to agree that the History Channel is sometimes way too much of the WWII Airplane Channel. But when it's not that, it's usually really interesting. I pretty much only watch the Discovery Channel when they have one of those medical freak shows on, but I can get that same fascination with less of the freak show guilt by watching House. Watching these channels, though, I do run into the Dragon Problem-- I've been told I'll believe anything with a footnote (I think I was searching for irrefutable truth to support my deep suspicion of aspartame at the time), and I have to stop myself from getting too wrapped up in the conspiracy or future predicting shows. Like the one I saw the other night on the History Channel that said several completely unrelated ancient cultures, all renown for their learning and intelligence, have independently predicted that the world as we know it will end on December 21, 2012. Try sleeping after that.
I don't consider news shows educational in the least. Everytime I happen to pause on one, I last about 15 minutes before they're either repeating stories or sensationalizing the ones they have to an unrecognizable degree. Garbage, garbage, garbage. We don't need multiple 24-hour news stations. We don't need fancy graphics and politically polar pundits. We need the news, we need to know what's going on in the world, and we need to be reminded to how we got to this point. Tell us about events present and past, not theories about the future laced with 'angles' and 'spin.' Please, leave the future predicting to the History Channel.
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label history. Show all posts
Friday, May 25, 2007
Friday, December 29, 2006
More Stamp History
Well, I decided that I would also post a little bit of history about stamps. Mine, I think, is more factually accurate than Stephanie's, but who knows? I'm no stampologist.
Well, back in the late 1700s, in a little ole country called America, some real cool dudes (aka the founding fathers) were sitting around the table drinking Hennessey or some other top shit. Anyway, George Washington, the duke of America A#1, was out of town doing some models or something, and Benjamin Franklin, who it's apparently all about, was like "Man, I need to tell George something before he gets back, but not immediately." So there was no need to invent the telephone. Not until years later, when some dude wanted to breathe heavily in a girl's ear, but her ear was with the rest of her body three blocks away and he couldn't wait until the next fortnight's makeout party to do it. That man's name was John Telephone, inventor of the telephone, and later, mustard gas. That's a real crazy story, though, and I'll save it for when the week's topic is mustard gas (hint hint). Anyway, John Hancock had the brilliant idea that they should invent a service that would carry Benny F's note to Georgio, and give that note to him, maybe even telling him who it was from or something so he didn't get all crazy banging those models and contemplating who must have sent him the note. They called this invention the "United States Postal Service," not to be confused with the two man band of a similar name that would be invented by Franklin's descendant two hundred and some odd years later and have a pretty decent album. But there was one problem. People started using the mail for all sorts of bad stuff, because it was free, and whenever something's free, motherfuckers always abuse it. Like when those machines at the grocery store spit out coupons, people always pull a million out and let them fall on the floor, because they think it's funny. Well, how funny would you think it was if I came to your house and dumped all your spoons on the floor? Somebody's got to clean that shit up. Buck up. Anyway, people were mailing porno pics of Betsy Ross (well, naked stick figures and embroideries of Betsy Ross, since photography wasn't invented either), and they were mailing practical jokes, like "Is your ice box running? Then thouth better go catch it!" I don't really know if ice boxes were invented. What am I, a professor of such garbage? Anyway, to remedy these problems, they decided that mailing crap should cost money, and that stamps needed to be invented. So many year passed and people would mail each other letters like "Dear Mabel, World War I has started," or "Dear Lyndon B. Johnson, JFK was just killed, so now guess who's the president? (Flip over for answer)". Also, in the 60s some lothario named Thomas Pynchon wrote a book about a post office conspiracy. Sounds boring? Well, it was really po-mo, as the literature and writing students say, but fuck those dudes. Pynchon later faded into obscurity. Then, in the 90s the Internets was invented. I know it wasn't really invented in the 90s, but the 90s is when I first got it, so that's when it became important. So people no longer needed the post office and stamps, and all the postal employees started whining and moaning and shooting people and crying. Wah wah, motherfuckers. Sorry technology happens and shit. You should use John Telephone's other invention, the Shutthefuckupatron. That oughtta keep you quiet. Also, all the people mentioned in this story are now dead. The End.
Well, back in the late 1700s, in a little ole country called America, some real cool dudes (aka the founding fathers) were sitting around the table drinking Hennessey or some other top shit. Anyway, George Washington, the duke of America A#1, was out of town doing some models or something, and Benjamin Franklin, who it's apparently all about, was like "Man, I need to tell George something before he gets back, but not immediately." So there was no need to invent the telephone. Not until years later, when some dude wanted to breathe heavily in a girl's ear, but her ear was with the rest of her body three blocks away and he couldn't wait until the next fortnight's makeout party to do it. That man's name was John Telephone, inventor of the telephone, and later, mustard gas. That's a real crazy story, though, and I'll save it for when the week's topic is mustard gas (hint hint). Anyway, John Hancock had the brilliant idea that they should invent a service that would carry Benny F's note to Georgio, and give that note to him, maybe even telling him who it was from or something so he didn't get all crazy banging those models and contemplating who must have sent him the note. They called this invention the "United States Postal Service," not to be confused with the two man band of a similar name that would be invented by Franklin's descendant two hundred and some odd years later and have a pretty decent album. But there was one problem. People started using the mail for all sorts of bad stuff, because it was free, and whenever something's free, motherfuckers always abuse it. Like when those machines at the grocery store spit out coupons, people always pull a million out and let them fall on the floor, because they think it's funny. Well, how funny would you think it was if I came to your house and dumped all your spoons on the floor? Somebody's got to clean that shit up. Buck up. Anyway, people were mailing porno pics of Betsy Ross (well, naked stick figures and embroideries of Betsy Ross, since photography wasn't invented either), and they were mailing practical jokes, like "Is your ice box running? Then thouth better go catch it!" I don't really know if ice boxes were invented. What am I, a professor of such garbage? Anyway, to remedy these problems, they decided that mailing crap should cost money, and that stamps needed to be invented. So many year passed and people would mail each other letters like "Dear Mabel, World War I has started," or "Dear Lyndon B. Johnson, JFK was just killed, so now guess who's the president? (Flip over for answer)". Also, in the 60s some lothario named Thomas Pynchon wrote a book about a post office conspiracy. Sounds boring? Well, it was really po-mo, as the literature and writing students say, but fuck those dudes. Pynchon later faded into obscurity. Then, in the 90s the Internets was invented. I know it wasn't really invented in the 90s, but the 90s is when I first got it, so that's when it became important. So people no longer needed the post office and stamps, and all the postal employees started whining and moaning and shooting people and crying. Wah wah, motherfuckers. Sorry technology happens and shit. You should use John Telephone's other invention, the Shutthefuckupatron. That oughtta keep you quiet. Also, all the people mentioned in this story are now dead. The End.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Lick It -N- Stick It
WARNING!: You may learn something from this post, and yes, it will hurt.
Saddled with the ever-so-interesting task of blogging about stamps, (C'mon Jen, stamps?) I decided to do a little research into the history of stamps.
The first stamp was issued May 6, 1840 in Britain. Before then, it was up to the receiver of the letter to pay, but as postal service was expensive, many refused letters. Many people actually developed codes to put on the outside of the letter, so that the reciever could just scan the code and refuse the letter, but still get the message.
Other important dates in stamp history:
1857 - First perforated U.S. stamps appear (had to cut them apart before that)
1869 - First U.S. pictorial stamps (something depicted other than a dead person)
1893 - First U.S. commemorative stamps are issued (Columbus' voyage to America)
1940 - Booker T. Washington first African-American honored on a stamp
1962 - First U.S. Christmas stamp
1974 - First U.S self-adhesive stamp issued
1992 - (18 yrs later!) Full-scale production of self-adhesive stamps
1998 - U.S. issues first semi-postal (postage stamps used to raise funds for charity)
In case you're wondering how they pick images used on stamps (like the silver coffeepot), never fear - I have a brief explanation about that too.
Originally the Postmaster General decided what should go on stamps. Then Congress had to stick their nose in, and started passing legislation REQUIRING certain subjects be honored. In 1957 the PG created a committee to review the ideas of the entire public. The Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee (a group of 12 to 15 appointed people) considers about 50,000 ideas each year. (Does that seem like a ridiculously high number to anyone else?) The Committee then recommends 35 new subjects, and the PG makes the final decision and blah, blah blah.
There are rules however, such as:
1. No living person can be depicted on a U.S stamp except former presidents.
2. An individual cannot be commemorated until 10 years after their death. (This is supposedly to allow the person's accomplishments to be viewed in the appropriate historical perspective. So if you invented a pill that saved hundreds of thousands of lives, and then you die, if in 9.75 years we're fucked economically because of said pill - no stamp for you!)
3. The exception to rule #2 are presidents, who have a stamp issued on the first anniversary of their death.
What if you don't like the crap the PG and CSAC pick out? You can make your own online! Here's a couple links:
Zazzle.com
Cafepress.com
And in case you need guidance as to what images to pus on your own stamps, here's a little good idea/bad idea.
Good Idea: Make stamps portraying Dexter, the new fictional serial killer series on Showtime. ( I get to read the book it was based on, Darkly Dreaming Dexter, tomorrow!)
Bad Idea: Make stamps portraying real serial killers. (Unless they're for hate mail, then it might be ok)
Good Idea: Make stamps of famous (tasteful) classical nude paintings.
Bad Idea : Make stamps from pictures you took of your girlfriend/boyfriend nude.
Good Idea: Making stamps of groups/causes you support i.e. American Cancer Society, PETA, etc.
Bad Idea: Making stamps of hate groups/terrorrist organizations you support. (The Nazis got enough attention 60 years ago -they don't need any help from you.) Also under this category - any stamps depicting anything to do with biohazards, bio warfare, and anthrax.
Saddled with the ever-so-interesting task of blogging about stamps, (C'mon Jen, stamps?) I decided to do a little research into the history of stamps.
The first stamp was issued May 6, 1840 in Britain. Before then, it was up to the receiver of the letter to pay, but as postal service was expensive, many refused letters. Many people actually developed codes to put on the outside of the letter, so that the reciever could just scan the code and refuse the letter, but still get the message.
Other important dates in stamp history:
1857 - First perforated U.S. stamps appear (had to cut them apart before that)
1869 - First U.S. pictorial stamps (something depicted other than a dead person)
1893 - First U.S. commemorative stamps are issued (Columbus' voyage to America)
1940 - Booker T. Washington first African-American honored on a stamp
1962 - First U.S. Christmas stamp
1974 - First U.S self-adhesive stamp issued
1992 - (18 yrs later!) Full-scale production of self-adhesive stamps
1998 - U.S. issues first semi-postal (postage stamps used to raise funds for charity)
In case you're wondering how they pick images used on stamps (like the silver coffeepot), never fear - I have a brief explanation about that too.
Originally the Postmaster General decided what should go on stamps. Then Congress had to stick their nose in, and started passing legislation REQUIRING certain subjects be honored. In 1957 the PG created a committee to review the ideas of the entire public. The Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee (a group of 12 to 15 appointed people) considers about 50,000 ideas each year. (Does that seem like a ridiculously high number to anyone else?) The Committee then recommends 35 new subjects, and the PG makes the final decision and blah, blah blah.
There are rules however, such as:
1. No living person can be depicted on a U.S stamp except former presidents.
2. An individual cannot be commemorated until 10 years after their death. (This is supposedly to allow the person's accomplishments to be viewed in the appropriate historical perspective. So if you invented a pill that saved hundreds of thousands of lives, and then you die, if in 9.75 years we're fucked economically because of said pill - no stamp for you!)
3. The exception to rule #2 are presidents, who have a stamp issued on the first anniversary of their death.
What if you don't like the crap the PG and CSAC pick out? You can make your own online! Here's a couple links:
Zazzle.com
Cafepress.com
And in case you need guidance as to what images to pus on your own stamps, here's a little good idea/bad idea.
Good Idea: Make stamps portraying Dexter, the new fictional serial killer series on Showtime. ( I get to read the book it was based on, Darkly Dreaming Dexter, tomorrow!)
Bad Idea: Make stamps portraying real serial killers. (Unless they're for hate mail, then it might be ok)
Good Idea: Make stamps of famous (tasteful) classical nude paintings.
Bad Idea : Make stamps from pictures you took of your girlfriend/boyfriend nude.
Good Idea: Making stamps of groups/causes you support i.e. American Cancer Society, PETA, etc.
Bad Idea: Making stamps of hate groups/terrorrist organizations you support. (The Nazis got enough attention 60 years ago -they don't need any help from you.) Also under this category - any stamps depicting anything to do with biohazards, bio warfare, and anthrax.
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