She Wants Revenge

So if you use revenge to raise money, is it still bad?

Because I've always had an idea for a fundraiser for the library that was kinda our chance to get back at our patrons - celebrity boxing. (OK - that should really be "celebrity" because it's just my coworkers, but we get recognized everywhere). So the deal is this - the employees get to pick patrons that we want to beat the crap out of, and if they agree, we box and charge admission. Patrons can also pay to box any employee that they want to . We could also have the Friends of the Library run a betting station. It's genius! Well, except for the fact that I'd probably get all the pervy guys who would like me beating them a little too much.

Until then I am left with only 2 ways to exact revenge on the patrons that have crossed me:

1. Kill them with kindness, and hope that somewhere in their tiny brains or shriveled hearts they feel a pang of regret for being a jackass.

2. Be an evil bitch and brutally enforce every rule in the library. See - normally I'm a little lax. If a cell phone goes off, and the conversation lasts less than 2 minutes, I let it slide. Kids get a little rowdy in the quiet section, as long as it doesn't seem to be disturbing anyone - I can let it go awhile. However, cross me once, and I turn into the library Nazi - making people go to the lobby every time a phone goes off, bringing up the issue of fines every time they check out - I can be a bit of a bother when I want to. However, I am just being totally professional and enforcing rules - nothing more.

This Post's Dewey Decimal Number? Probably 814.54 TYS

Well I think it's no secret that I currently work at a library. In fact, the same library Nick used to work at, though things aren't as bad as he painted them to be - that is due to the fact that we've changed directors since then, and the one we have now is a lot nicer and more laid-back than the one before.

However, when I have to explain what I do - well, I usually don't have to do much explaining, except if I talk about the reference desk. I think I've talked about it here before, but in case I haven't, that's the desk where anybody can come up with whatever strange question they have in their mind, and I have to find the answer or help them find the answer to it. But this post isn't just me explaining stuff like that.

Nick had written that because of his job, people automatically assumed he liked numbers. Working at a library, they assume several things about you:

1. You like to read - totally true. I don't think there's anyone working at the library that doesn't love to read. Our janitor is illiterate, but that's another story.

2. You're incredibly boring and stuffy and spend all day shushing people - couldn't be farther from the truth - for most of the people who work at my library at least. I mean, that probably applies to some of them, but that's an old stereotype. Besides, I work at a public library - if we actually tried to keep the place quiet and shushed everyone, it would be a never ending battle. We can't even get people to turn off their cell phones (or at least on vibrate), and there are signs up everywhere - even at eye level on the front door. *Since starting this post a couple of days ago, I've found this article talking about the same thing on nytimes.com*

3. You have to be smart to work at a library - common misconception. Yes, you have to take a test to get one of our positions, but trust me, somehow some people slip through. There are times I think some of the people I work with have no short-term memory, like in Memento, because there are times where it seems like certain people have completely forgotten how to do a job they've been doing for months (or perhaps years). The other part of this is that people think you know everything because you spend all day reading books. I wish I had the time to read books at work, and yes, you do pick up a lot of knowledge from having to find stuff for other people. However, we just look smart because we know where to find the info. (Not that I'm not smart - though one may beg to differ after looking at this picture).

I suppose the one thing I get to do that most other people who work at libraries don't - paint and draw. Whenever they need a background done for a children's program, I get out of doing my regular work to do paint or construct whatever they need. It rocks! Currently I've been working on stuff for out Harry Potter party we're having on the 21st to celebrate the release of the 7th book.! Yes, we will probably be told that we're going to burn in hell for aiding Satan in warping children's minds, but I don't care- it's going to be a blast. (Fun side note: one of my coworkers has actually taken the day off because she doesn't want to be here for our party).

So though I shelve books, help patrons, and answer inane questions, I am NOT a typical librarian. Actually, I'm not a librarian at all - you have to have a masters degree -, but they do a lot of the same things I do, they just get a couple more dollars an hour for it.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

I am well familiar with transition. From moving once a year and breaking into the "real world", to having a different hair cut/color every few months - the one constant in life is change.

Transitions at work are always...fun. Working at a place with high turnover (hmm..like a library?), really makes you appreciate change and adapt. One month you can have a coworker you love, the next month they quit and a person who makes you wish you were deaf takes their place. (That is, after 3 months of screwing around the county does before they hire anyone). It's that constant shift in group dynamics that throws me for a loop sometimes. However, I suppose if I didn't have such annoyances, I wouldn't have any good stories either - and I'm sure everyone is well aware I love to tell a good story.

Some examples: Our reference librarian quit after I was there about a year. No tears were cried, I assure you, because she was the most unreasonable, short-tempered, nasty person I had met who worked with the public. (Nick, you know who I'm talking about). Shortly before she left, they hired someone in the other reference position (so she wasn't literally taking her position, but in essence she was). I was hopeful that she would be better than our other, but as time wore on I found out she wasn't.

She wasn't quite as mean, though she had her moments, but was just on another level (an illogical one) as far as her thinking. She got too stressed out if she was at the desk by herself (she liked to wander away from the desk for about 20 minutes at a time, and then those pesky patrons would come up wanting help, and she had to drag herself away from the stacks - can you believe the nerve of them?) Sometimes her way of finding the answer to a question made no sense, and at least once she accused me of opening her email and writing to someone, and then later, stealing notepads from the desk. She quit a couple of months ago, and I can only pray that the new person will be different. I can't help but think that maybe you have to have a certain personality to work reference - or maybe the position turns you into a bitch if you work it long enough.

Sadly, that's not the only change in employment that wasn't for the best. I used to have a coworker I loved to work with. We had the same taste in books, so she was always giving me new series to read, and in general was great to talk to. Well she quit and started working for a school in Branford because it was closer to home, and she could spend time with her sons during vacation, before they went off to college. About 3 months later a new person comes on, and again I thought she was alright at first.

Now she's been here for awhile, and every minute around her makes me want to pull my hair out, or move - that position in S Korea looks better everyday. She never listens, and she is always trying to guess what you're going to say. There's a reason - her husband's tongue was removed because of cancer or something, so I understand why she does it, but she needs to realize that most people (probably 99%) would rather just talk instead of having her guess (incorrectly). Here is a sample conversation:

Her: What did you do this weekend?

Me: Well I -

Her: Did you go to the Azalea Festival? I didn't even know it was going on, did you know?

Me: I did, but -

Her: You didn't want to go? Don't you like flowers? Or do you? I don't know...

Me: Well -

Her: Have you heard about such-and such going on next week? Blah, blah, blah....

That's the point that I start wondering if the edge on the ruler is sharp enough to slit my wrists. I thought it would stop when we got the other computer at the desk, and I could resume my web browsing as before, but it hasn't. To drive the point home, one of my other coworkers, who is the most patient person I know, is fed up with her.

To compound these problems, we just switched to a new system, so those of us who are faster at picking things up have to pick up the slack, and help train the slower ones. Everyday is an uphill battle it seems. Sometimes I just have to tell myself "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can - keep myself from stroking out today"